My Life as a Mom Dealing With Postpartum Depression

Today, I am happy to introduce my friend, Sara, as our guest blogger. Sara is a great mom and a great friend. Her story today was a difficult one for her to write but I know that healing will come from it - for her and others struggling as well.

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As one of the older "mommies," you feel an unfounded responsibility to have some tidbit of "wisdom" to share with those around you. Then one day you wake up and realize that you are all in the same boat, traveling down the stream of "mommy" life together. There is no instruction manual, no "how to be a mommy in 3 days or less" type of book to quickly skim through while changing diapers. But as we look around us, there is so much to be shared, so much to be learned from our fellow friends, moms, grandmas, and even those who mentor us through this season of our lives.

On May 21st, Jeff and I welcomed our first baby into our family. Eliana Marie was born at 0704 am (after a night of no sleep) and weighed in at a whopping 9 lb 9 oz. We were so excited to be parents! What could be better? Well, two and a half years later we welcomed a second little one into our family. Hello Mr. Nolan Charles! I thought that Eliana was big at birth; I was so NOT prepared for the 10 lb baby boy that entered our family. What fun to have one of each. What two TOTALLY different children!

After the birth of both our children, I entered a season of life that I was not prepared for. This season of life threw both my husband and I for a bit of a surprise. You read all about postpartum depression and you think to yourself: I know all the symptoms, I will know what to watch for, and I will know how to handle this. What a shock! My depression after Eliana was mild and stemmed from one main factor: she was one poky eater! I could sit and feed her for an hour and a half and then, because she was losing weight, Jeff would give her formula. She would consume 4-6 oz of formula within minutes and then be hungry again an hour later. What frustration, what disappointment. I had such high hopes of feeding my baby and now she was a "starving" baby to my way of thinking. There were nights of little sleep and many tears. There were many happy memories and time spent enjoying her. I must admit that things became easier once she turned six months and was able to start on cereal and baby food. The pressure was off and I felt that life was back to "normal." I still had my ups and downs, but was on the mend. This season of my life was behind me. When we found out that we were pregnant with Nolan, I remember asking for prayer regarding my time postpartum. I know that people prayed for me, but I also know that I was not prepared. I can honestly say that I did not pray about it. Well, it seems that boys and postpartum depression are a bit different! I experienced awful mood swings. I felt overwhelmed with the simplest tasks. It was a season of life that was one I wish had not visited me. I am not saying that every day was bad, but I can say that there were more bad days than good days. I am sad to say that the only person who probably knew about it was my husband. I did not tell anyone about it, even though I am sure that some may have guessed. I was so disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to overcome this. But through it all my husband was extremely supportive and I love him more for it knowing what he had to endure during those months. But for as much as my husband supported me, I wish that I had talked it out with a friend, a fellow woman, and a fellow mom. I never realized how many moms struggle with this. Whether it is mild or severe, postpartum depression can be a season of life that leaves you feeling alone and disappointed. You are not alone in this! Find a fellow mom, friend, or sister who you trust and tell them how you are feeling. Have a talk with your doctor; medicine can help. I am convinced that God is with you during this time in your life. He is struggling with you, loving you, and holding you close to His heart during this time. I am convinced that I would not have made it through this season of life if others had not been praying for me. I am so thankful that this season of my life has slowly faded from view.

Seasons come and seasons go, but our God is faithful; He will never leave you or forsake you.

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Amen! Thank you for sharing that with us, Sara! I pray that lives are touched by your story.

Sara will be leading a craft workshop at REFRESH next month. Look for her there!