Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Hope

Hello!  Where have I been?  Well, life has been crazy these past couple months.

On August 31, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, Asher - all 10 lbs 11 oz of him.  Ouch.  It was through much prayer that I made it through that experience and it has taken me a bit longer to recover after having him than the others.

But God is moving and shaking in my life and I feel like I am finally headed back to at least a little bit of my former self.  Praise the Lord!

Just 5 weeks after giving birth, my baby sister was married.  What a day that was!  The bride was beautiful.  I welcomed a new brother into our family.  Four of my five kids were in the wedding.  It really was a great time but I was just slightly stressed out.


That morning, I was feeling not so great about myself.  At 5 weeks postpartum, I felt fat, ugly, exhausted, hormonal, stressed, yuck.  All 3 of my sisters were in the wedding and obviously looking gorgeous and I could barely lift my head from the huge bags I was carrying under my eyes.

While getting ready in the 15 minutes I had left after helping the kids look their adorablest (yeah, I know it's not a word), I looked in the mirror at my pathetic self and just prayed.  To be honest, I started my prayer by asking God to help me look beautiful that day but I quickly changed it to "let others see the light of Jesus shining through me."  It was a simple prayer.

Throughout the day, I had various family members tell me I looked "beautiful" but I knew I looked like I had been hit by a truck.  I knew they were just being kind to the emotionally fragile, pathetic thing that I was.  It was ok.  I smiled and thanked them.

At the end of the night, my uncle came up to say goodbye to me.  He told me I looked beautiful or something similar, I don't really remember.  But then he told me something I will never forget.  He said "I see Jesus all over you."  I was touched simply because that was an amazing compliment.  It brought a tear to my eye.

It wasn't until a couple of days later that I remembered my prayer in the bathroom that morning.  (I know, give me a break.  I was so sleep deprived, I couldn't form a complete sentence most days.)  But when I was reminded of that prayer, it took my breath away.

God is so amazing!  He is so good to us.  I look back at the pictures from that day and see how truly "rough" I looked but if others saw the light of Jesus shining through me, then that is all that matters.  It's not about me, it's all about Him.

Why did I tell you this story?  I'm not sure.  I wasn't planning on telling anyone this precious nugget of a memory but God woke me in the middle of the night and encouraged me to share it.

I hope it encourages you.  I hope it tells you of God's goodness, His faithfulness, His love.  I hope it gives you ... Hope.  That is the word God is impressing on me so strongly this Christmas season.  Hope.

God loves you.  He thinks you're wonderful.  He wants to do amazing things in your life.  You don't need to be beautiful, talented, perfect.  You just need to be you.  He can use you right where you are.  Put your trust in Him and He will not let you down.


Be a light that shines for Him this Christmas season and all year!  This world is such a dark place.  They need to see the Light!