Choices

*Choices are a big deal to toddlers and are an effective way to encourage good behavior. Getting dressed struggles? "You can wear either this shirt or this one." Cleanup contention? "You can pick up this mess while singing either the Barney song or the Bob the Builder one." Rushing to leave? "I can put your shoes on for you and carry you out to the car, or you can put them on all by yourself and meet me in the car seat."
*Choices can be as simple as letting your child pick between doing the right thing or receiving the consequence. "You can give me the toy or I can take it from you." "It's your choice - do you want to stop whining and play nicely with your sister, or would you rather take a nap?"
*Don't you just love to make your children laugh? Especially when the alternative is a preschool power struggle. "I don't want to wear that shirt!" she insists. "Fine, then I'll wear it," you concede while putting her size three shirt on your head and walking around bumping into things. "Here, now you try it. Hey, it fits you perfectly!" Or you can hop around on one foot that is wearing your son's little jeans that he refuses to wear. As often as possible, look for the humor in raising toddlers!
*In some ways, toddlers can be easier to discipline than older kids. Try giving them this simple choice. Hold up two fingers and explain, "If you choose this finger and obey Mommy, you will receive the blessing in heaven. But if you pick this finger and disobey, you will be choosing the consequences here on earth." Most of the time you don't even have to have a punishment in mind; they love to choose the obedient finger. As they run off to obey, call after them with this encouragement: "I see God smiling at you from heaven while He's preparing your reward!"
*Use your child's desire for independence to your advantage. "I can do it by myself!" seems to be the battle cry of toddlers everywhere. That's why, if you offer them the choice of putting toys away all by themselves or allowing you to help, they will usually go for the heady feeling of self-sufficiency. If they don't, however, "help" them by placing your hand over theirs while they pick up all their toys. That isn't quite as much fun as watching you clean up for them, and it makes the choice of allowing you to help a little less appealing next time.

Looking Down the Road

An excerpt from Lisa Whelchel's book "Creative Correction" :

When our children are young, it's easy to become myopic, or shortsighted, in our vision. We zoom around, putting out the fires in front of us, always keeping a fire extinguisher handy, but never taking the time to think about installing a water-sprinkler system for the future. It's important, however, that we stop every so often in the midst of firefighting to look down the road. Are we still guiding our children in the right direction?
You know what happens if you stare at your feet while walking. You begin to lose your balance and don't even realize you've veered off course until it's too late. We need to pause in our journey and take a good, long, loving look at our little ones. We need to take the time to assess their strengths and weaknesses and evaluate what those same character traits will look like down the road in a teenager and, eventually, in an adult.
Sneaking a cookie from the jar when Mom isn't looking is easily punishable with a slap on the hand. Sneaking a pair of earrings from the local mall may also be handled by a slap on the wrist - with handcuffs. Cheating at a board game may result in being sent back to "Start." Cheating on a test in high school will also send you home - possibly in expulsion. Getting angry and hitting a parent would warrant a time-out. Getting angry and hitting a teacher could warrant another form of "time-out" - behind bars.
Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying that if little Susie steals a cookie, she's going to end up in jail someday. What I am saying is this: Ignoring moral issues when the implications are toddler- size can reap perilous, teenager- size repercussions. We can't avoid our children's peccadilloes forever - but when would you rather deal with these moral and character issues? When your child is five years old or 15?

Complaining

Once upon a time there lived twin boys who, aside from looking identical, were opposite in every way. One was an eternal optimist, always able to look on the bright side of life, while the other was a pessimist, who complained about everything. One year for their birthday, their father conducted an experiment. He loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game; but the optimist's room, he filled with horse manure.
That night the father went to the pessimist's room, where he found the boy crying bitterly amid his new gifts.
"I have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff," complained the boy, frowning. "And I need a ton of batteries, too."
After trying to comfort his son, the father left the miserable boy and walked down the hallway to his brother's room. Amazingly, this little boy was smiling and dancing around the piles of manure.
"What are you so happy about?" the father asked.
The boy grinned. "With all this manure, there's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"

from Lisa Whelchel's book, Creative Correction