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My Life As a Mom of Twins
by Brooke
Hi! My name is Brooke and I have been married to Jeff, a wonderfully kind and patient man, for almost 7 years. Together we have twins, Lucy and Dexter, who will be 3 at the end of this month.
I would have to say that a typical day in our house is not “typical”. I never know what the twins mood will be, what they will choose to wear and what (or if) they will eat. Jeff likes to joke that they take turns “going off the deep end”. I'm not positive but I think that when he says that he's including me too. Oh, did I mention that we're expecting our 3rd baby in 6 weeks? At this moment, we are doing our best to make chaos work for us.
If I had the “perfect” planned life as I envisioned when I was younger, we would have had 1 boy, then a couple of years later had another. Assuming all was going well, we would have considered a third. Surprise! God didn't much agree with my plan. So, in December 2008, Jeff and I found out that we were going to be first-time parents to fraternal twins.
I dealt with the news pretty well, I think. I was excited and a little bit nervous but I figured we could handle it. People have twins all the time, right? I had a really uneventful pregnancy for carrying multiples. Of course, I was considered “high risk” and had many, many ultrasounds but, other than that, there were no out-of-the-ordinary issues. In July 2009 I gave birth to two full-term (37 ½ weeks) healthy babies via c-section. Lucy weighed in at 5lbs. 11oz. Dexter was 6lbs. 5oz. Neither needed to spend any time in the NICU and we were all able to go home 3 days later. PTL!
And then reality... The first week at home we had lots of visitors. Jeff was off of work and that meant lots of helping hands. The second week, my mom took vacation from work so that she could help me during the day while Jeff went back to work. The third week, I was all on my own during the day. That was when I started doubting that I actually could do this. I was recovering from surgery, still getting the hang of tandem breastfeeding and adjusting to being a new mom with two teeny babies and no one to help out except the dogs and cats. In case you're wondering, they weren't so helpful either. I was outnumbered. There would always be more of them than me!
I would say that the first 9 months were the toughest. I had quit my job to stay home with the kids full-time and I didn't know many other stay-at-home moms to have playdates with. So we didn't leave the house much. Just keeping sane through the winter was a challenge. Did you know that it's almost impossible to go anywhere by yourself with 2 infants? Oh, it can be done. Usually it's neither pleasant nor worth all of the effort in the end. I can think of a couple of times though when I had a successful outing to Target or the grocery store. Those times I felt like SuperMom with my double stroller, two car seats and ridiculously full diaper bag. In reality I probably looked more like a bag lady who hadn't slept in weeks and needed a good shower.
Time actually did start to go faster with Lucy and Dexter hitting all of the big milestones. It got a bit easier to go out once they started walking and interacting. At around 18 months we started to venture out more during the week. It was so fun to watch them learn to play with other kids and to see the differences (and also the similarities) develop in each of their personalities. I was making new friends and learning new things too!
Now, at almost 3, the twins are sometimes like little adults. They have opinions. They argue their point. They pout or throw a tantrum if they don't get their way. They test my boundaries, push my buttons and act like little mirrors when I mess up. They help me to practice patience and self-control on a daily basis. They also remind me that I need God's help because they still outnumber me.
People always tell me that God will only give you what you can handle. I don't believe that He gave me the twins because He knew I could handle it, though I found I could. I believe He gave them to me because He knew that I needed them to grow, personally and in my faith. People also like to tell me that twins are a blessing. Yes, as a mom of twins, I believe that is true. But what I've noticed is that those people don't have twins. :)
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Thank you, Brooke! Your kiddos are adorable and YOU are a blessing! I can't wait to meet your newest addition when she arrives. :)
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