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My Life As A Homeschooling Mom
By Mary
Before I had kids, there were a lot of things I never thought I would do as a parent. Things like make my own baby food (which turns out is actually pretty easy, cheap and convenient), give birth naturally (they say you forget what the pain is like... whoever "they" is, well they're wrong because I haven't forgotten) and homeschool my child. Here's a short lesson in "never say never".
When my oldest, Lucas, was in 3 year old preschool, it all of a sudden dawned on me how close he was to entering kindergarten. As natural as a progression in life going to kindergarten was, it just didn't sit well in my stomach (for many reasons which I would be happy to share but for the length of this blog's sake, I'll omit them). That's when the thought of homeschooling (say what?!) came to my mind. Never had I EVER considered homeschooling my children. In fact, I was excited at the thought of my kids going to kindergarten and participating in all the fun kindergarten holds. All the "firsts" the kids experience in that grade, the friends they make, the art projects they bring home, the field trips they take. I was excited for my kids to have all of that. But as 3 year old preschool came and went and 4 year old preschool came and went, I exhausted myself in finally making the decision to homeschool Lucas for kindergarten. I even had him enrolled in a school in Waukesha up until the week before school started, just in case I changed my mind.
It was not an easy choice. I am not a go against the flow type person, and frankly, homeschooling your child is not quite going with the flow. My own insecurity and concern for what other people thought of me almost kept me from making this all important decision for my Lucas. My husband was of little help (or you could look at it as he was quite helpful) since he let me make the decision basically on my own. "Whatever you want to do, I will support you", he said. That was freeing yet scary all at the same time. I wanted him to have an opinion one way or the other, so I didn't feel like I was making the choice by myself. I wanted to make sure I was doing what he, too, wanted for Lucas. But no. He kept saying the same thing, "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you." And support me, he did, on this crazy adventure I took this past school year.
September 1st came and I watched on facebook as people posted pictures of their kids' first day of school. The questions flooded my mind as I thought to myself, "What in the world have I done". Many times I repeated to myself, "Well you can't make Lucas LESS smart", or at least I had hoped that to be true. And truth be told, Lucas went to a GREAT preschool that truly prepared the way for him succeeding so well in his kindergarten year. The kid knew his sounds, shapes and letters like a champ!
The year proved to be incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding. The hard days consisted of Lucas flat out telling me he didn't want to "do" school anymore. He would sit at the table and pout or get angry with me while I tried to explain how to read "half past the hour" on the paper clock. Or he would purposely try and change the subject while I was explaining that when two vowels go a-walking, the first one does the talking (people come up the catchiest little phrases for these kids, I love it!). He would storm off to his room after throwing his pencil (totally unacceptable) and me hollering after him, "Don't come out until you're ready to be polite and do your best work in school!" Then there were the days when we wouldn't get to any school work. I'd had a rough day with Audrey or the schedule was just crazy busy or I was just plain lazy and didn't feel like it. I'd beat myself up and tell myself that I wasn't cut out for this. I'm not motivated enough. I don't have enough follow through to see this school year out. I'd tell myself I wasn't doing enough "fun" things with Lucas. I felt like all I did was scold him or tell him what he was doing wrong or shouldn't be doing. I'd question as to whether I was harming Lucas socially. Will kids not like him if he's homeschooled? Will he have a hard time making friends. Will he be teased because of a decision I made for him? Will he be unprepared either socially or academically when we do send him to school one day?
That's when I'd call my mom. I'd vent to her about my frustrations and she'd tell me how great of a job I was doing. (Thanks, Mom.) She'd try to comfort me with whatever words she could. And she'd remind me that I'm doing best I can.
And then I would have a good day. And man, were the good days pretty awesome. Like when Lucas finished his Kindergarten Level reading kit (Hooked on Phonics really did work for this kid... he reads like a pro!). He held up his reading poster with all the stickers on it to represent the different stories he'd read and an overwhelming feeling of pride came over me. I helped him do that. Without my assistance, that reading poster would still be empty, not decorated with star stickers. And I remember the day (because it was just the other week) when he finished his math workbook. My kid can count by 1s, 2s, 5s and 10s without any help. He can do addition and subtraction in his head. And he can tell time on an analog clock (with a little assistance... he prefers digital, but who doesn't?).
And then there was the day I asked Lucas if he liked being homeschooled (as a selfish ploy to boost my confidence, hoping he would say "Of course, Mom! I wouldn't want it any other way!") His answer wasn't quite that, but he did say yes. So I asked him what his favorite thing about being homeschooled was and he said, "Because I have you for my teacher". (pause for dramatic effect) You could've spilled grape juice on my carpet and I wouldn't have cared. I was so elated that he said that. It made it all worth it. I may not have been a perfect teacher. I may or may not have accidentally told Lucas that the pilgrims came over on the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria (my husband quickly corrected my mistake), but I was the perfect teacher for Lucas just because God made me his mommy.
I had the amazing opportunity this year to see Lucas' knowledge grow. I first hand witnessed him catch on to math concepts and how to correctly form the number eight and the letter 'g' (those are tough ones). I sat next to him while he drew a picture of his favorite part of our weekend to Florida and watched him attempt to write a sentence explaining what the picture was. I got to go on "field trips" to the zoo and the hardware store with him. And although I wish I would've done more playing, more coloring, more imagining with him, I feel like our year of kindergarten at home was worth all the bad days and certainly worth the good ones. I would do it over again with Lucas in a heartbeat.
As for my future in homeschooling, well Lucas is going to first grade in an actual school building. I think our year home was just what was needed. He is ready and excited (most of the time) for the next year. I'll have to wait and see what I do with Audrey, but I've got time before I need to make that decision.
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Thank you, Mary, for sharing this part of your life with us! I love hearing these stories from you moms because it gives me a glimpse into your life and the different things you deal with.
If you would ever like to share your story, let me know. We would love to hear it!
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