My Life As a Mom of Twins

Today our guest blogger is Brooke.  She is a very busy mom of twins with another sweet baby arriving soon.  She is so sweet and patient and handles motherhood so well.  I am pleased to share her story with you.

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My Life As a Mom of Twins
by Brooke

Hi! My name is Brooke and I have been married to Jeff, a wonderfully kind and patient man, for almost 7 years. Together we have twins, Lucy and Dexter, who will be 3 at the end of this month.

I would have to say that a typical day in our house is not “typical”. I never know what the twins mood will be, what they will choose to wear and what (or if) they will eat. Jeff likes to joke that they take turns “going off the deep end”. I'm not positive but I think that when he says that he's including me too. Oh, did I mention that we're expecting our 3^rd baby in 6 weeks? At this moment, we are doing our best to make chaos work for us.

If I had the “perfect” planned life as I envisioned when I was younger, we would have had 1 boy, then a couple of years later had another. Assuming all was going well, we would have considered a third. Surprise! God didn't much agree with my plan. So, in December 2008, Jeff and I found out that we were going to be first-time parents to fraternal twins.

I dealt with the news pretty well, I think. I was excited and a little bit nervous but I figured we could handle it. People have twins all the time, right? I had a really uneventful pregnancy for carrying multiples. Of course, I was considered “high risk” and had many, many ultrasounds but, other than that, there were no out-of-the-ordinary issues. In July 2009 I gave birth to two full-term (37 ½ weeks) healthy babies via c-section. Lucy weighed in at 5lbs. 11oz. Dexter was 6lbs. 5oz. Neither needed to spend any time in the NICU and we were all able to go home 3 days later. PTL!

And then reality... The first week at home we had lots of visitors. Jeff was off of work and that meant lots of helping hands. The second week, my mom took vacation from work so that she could help me during the day while Jeff went back to work. The third week, I was all on my own during the day. That was when I started doubting that I actually could do this. I was recovering from surgery, still getting the hang of tandem breastfeeding and adjusting to being a new mom with two teeny babies and no one to help out except the dogs and cats. In case you're wondering, they weren't so helpful either. I was outnumbered. There would always be more of them than me!

I would say that the first 9 months were the toughest. I had quit my job to stay home with the kids full-time and I didn't know many other stay-at-home moms to have playdates with. So we didn't leave the house much. Just keeping sane through the winter was a challenge. Did you know that it's almost impossible to go anywhere by yourself with 2 infants? Oh, it can be done. Usually it's neither pleasant nor worth all of the effort in the end. I can think of a couple of times though when I had a successful outing to Target or the grocery store. Those times I felt like SuperMom with my double stroller, two car seats and ridiculously full diaper bag. In reality I probably looked more like a bag lady who hadn't slept in weeks and needed a good shower.

Time actually did start to go faster with Lucy and Dexter hitting all of the big milestones. It got a bit easier to go out once they started walking and interacting. At around 18 months we started to venture out more during the week. It was so fun to watch them learn to play with other kids and to see the differences (and also the similarities) develop in each of their personalities. I was making new friends and learning new things too!

Now, at almost 3, the twins are sometimes like little adults. They have opinions. They argue their point. They pout or throw a tantrum if they don't get their way. They test my boundaries, push my buttons and act like little mirrors when I mess up. They help me to practice patience and self-control on a daily basis. They also remind me that I need God's help because they still outnumber me.

People always tell me that God will only give you what you can handle. I don't believe that He gave me the twins because He knew I could handle it, though I found I could. I believe He gave them to me because He knew that I needed them to grow, personally and in my faith. People also like to tell me that twins are a blessing. Yes, as a mom of twins, I believe that is true. But what I've noticed is that those people don't have twins. :)

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Thank you, Brooke!  Your kiddos are adorable and YOU are a blessing!  I can't wait to meet your newest addition when she arrives. :)

MY Life As a Mom Story

Hop on over to the Nurture blog to read my own My Life As a Mom story!

We are going to start posting My Life As a Mom stories twice a month over there as well and I am kicking it off with my own story first.

Let me know if you'd like to write one! :)

Have a wonderful day!

My Life As a Mom of a Miracle

Today I am so excited to introduce you to Sara and her amazing mom story.  Sara is a mom to 4 adorable kids.  She is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet and has a beautiful heart for prayer ministry.

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I know we’ve all had them. That life-altering event that changes you so much that you can’t remember the person you were before it happened. For me, that event was the birth of my second son, Graham.

It was about 5 years ago now, but the memories are still vivid. I remember being in the OB/GYN's office and having my second ultrasound done at 10 weeks to check for a heartbeat. Extra cautions were being taken because I had just had a miscarriage the month before. I could see immediately that something was not right. My doctor tried to put on a calm face, but she sent me to see a specialist immediately. I can remember going home after that appointment and looking up the different possibilities on the internet (never a good idea by the way!). All of the information I could find looked very grim. Over our many months of weekly ultrasounds we were told so many scarey things - that he might have Down syndrome, that he might have another chromosomal abnormality that was incompatible with life, that he would have kidney failure, be on dialysis, need a kidney transplant or may not live long enough to receive one.

Thankfully we found out through a biopsy of the placenta a few weeks later that he had no chromosomal abnormalities and that we would be having a baby boy. It was a relief, but it was still hard to have the normal excitement you get when having a baby. We were sent to see all the different specialists before he was born so that we could be prepared for what may happen after his birth. They told us about what happens in the NICU and how things proceed when the baby doesn't survive. The nephrologist told us about how it would be when he was on dialysis and how big he would have to be to receive a transplant. Lastly, we saw our urologist, whom we have grown to love over the past 5 years. I sat there 20 weeks pregnant while he looked at our ultrasound pictures. We were on information overload after the previous 2 consults. He just looked at us and basically said that everything would be okay, and he thought we were going to have a great kid. He was a gift from God. We needed that encouraging word, and it gave us hope.

We had weekly ultrasounds, but basically, to the surprise of many doctors, we made it though the pregnancy uneventfully. At 35 weeks, the real adventure began. We went to the specialist for our routine appointment. I could tell the doctor was watching the blood flow in the placenta for way too long. He didn't think the placenta was functioning well anymore, and told us to go straight to the hospital to deliver. We came to find out later that as many as 80% of babies with Graham’s condition are stillborn.

At the hospital I was induced, and Graham made his appearance in the morning. It was a beautiful delivery, didn't even have to push once. It was all such a blur after that. The extent of his problems was far beyond what we had seen on the ultrasound. After holding him for just a few minutes, he was immediately transferred to Children’s Hospital for the first of many extensive surgeries.

Needless to say, we survived that surgery and many others after it. Graham is truly one of kind. God has surpassed every expectation we could have had for him. It hasn't been easy at all, but every experience has been a blessing. We have learned more about ourselves and our God than we could have ever imaged. When something like this happens in your life, you can't deny the hand of God moving over and over again. More than anything, it has taught me that in my life I cannot trust my own limited understanding. I need to cast my cares on my Savior, acknowledging that his understanding is far greater than mine. When I am able to do that, I am blessed beyond what I could have imaged.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

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Thanks, Sara!  You have such a special little boy.  God is so good and I can't wait to see what He has in store for your family.

My Life As a Homeschooling Mom

Today my friend, Mary, has agreed to share her story with us.  Mary is a busy mom of 2 adorable kids and wife of our youth pastor.  She is a great mom and her love for her kids is so evident.

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My Life As A Homeschooling Mom


By Mary

Before I had kids, there were a lot of things I never thought I would do as a parent. Things like make my own baby food (which turns out is actually pretty easy, cheap and convenient), give birth naturally (they say you forget what the pain is like... whoever "they" is, well they're wrong because I haven't forgotten) and homeschool my child. Here's a short lesson in "never say never". 

When my oldest, Lucas, was in 3 year old preschool, it all of a sudden dawned on me how close he was to entering kindergarten. As natural as a progression in life going to kindergarten was, it just didn't sit well in my stomach (for many reasons which I would be happy to share but for the length of this blog's sake, I'll omit them). That's when the thought of homeschooling (say what?!) came to my mind. Never had I EVER considered homeschooling my children. In fact, I was excited at the thought of my kids going to kindergarten and participating in all the fun kindergarten holds. All the "firsts" the kids experience in that grade, the friends they make, the art projects they bring home, the field trips they take. I was excited for my kids to have all of that. But as 3 year old preschool came and went and 4 year old preschool came and went, I exhausted myself in finally making the decision to homeschool Lucas for kindergarten. I even had him enrolled in a school in Waukesha up until the week before school started, just in case I changed my mind.

It was not an easy choice. I am not a go against the flow type person, and frankly, homeschooling your child is not quite going with the flow. My own insecurity and concern for what other people thought of me almost kept me from making this all important decision for my Lucas. My husband was of little help (or you could look at it as he was quite helpful) since he let me make the decision basically on my own. "Whatever you want to do, I will support you", he said. That was freeing yet scary all at the same time. I wanted him to have an opinion one way or the other, so I didn't feel like I was making the choice by myself. I wanted to make sure I was doing what he, too, wanted for Lucas. But no. He kept saying the same thing, "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you." And support me, he did, on this crazy adventure I took this past school year. 

September 1st came and I watched on facebook as people posted pictures of their kids' first day of school. The questions flooded my mind as I thought to myself,  "What in the world have I done". Many times I repeated to myself, "Well you can't make Lucas LESS smart", or at least I had hoped that to be true. And truth be told, Lucas went to a GREAT preschool that truly prepared the way for him succeeding so well in his kindergarten year. The kid knew his sounds, shapes and letters like a champ!

The year proved to be incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding. The hard days consisted of Lucas flat out telling me he didn't want to "do" school anymore. He would sit at the table and pout or get angry with me while I tried to explain how to read "half past the hour" on the paper clock. Or he would purposely try and change the subject while I was explaining that when two vowels go a-walking, the first one does the talking (people come up the catchiest little phrases for these kids, I love it!). He would storm off to his room after throwing his pencil (totally unacceptable) and me hollering after him, "Don't come out until you're ready to be polite and do your best work in school!" Then there were the days when we wouldn't get to any school work. I'd had a rough day with Audrey or the schedule was just crazy busy or I was just plain lazy and didn't feel like it. I'd beat myself up and tell myself that I wasn't cut out for this. I'm not motivated enough. I don't have enough follow through to see this school year out. I'd tell myself I wasn't doing enough "fun" things with Lucas. I felt like all I did was scold him or tell him what he was doing wrong or shouldn't be doing. I'd question as to whether I was harming Lucas socially. Will kids not like him if he's homeschooled? Will he have a hard time making friends. Will he be teased because of a decision I made for him? Will he be unprepared either socially or academically when we do send him to school one day?

That's when I'd call my mom. I'd vent to her about my frustrations and she'd tell me how great of a job I was doing. (Thanks, Mom.)  She'd try to comfort me with whatever words she could. And she'd remind me that I'm doing best I can.

And then I would have a good day. And man, were the good days pretty awesome. Like when Lucas finished his Kindergarten Level reading kit (Hooked on Phonics really did work for this kid... he reads like a pro!). He held up his reading poster with all the stickers on it to represent the different stories he'd read and an overwhelming feeling of pride came over me. I helped him do that. Without my assistance, that reading poster would still be empty, not decorated with star stickers. And I remember the day (because it was just the other week) when he finished his math workbook. My kid can count by 1s, 2s, 5s and 10s without any help. He can do addition and subtraction in his head. And he can tell time on an analog clock (with a little assistance... he prefers digital, but who doesn't?). 

And then there was the day I asked Lucas if he liked being homeschooled (as a selfish ploy to boost my confidence, hoping he would say "Of course, Mom! I wouldn't want it any other way!") His answer wasn't quite that, but he did say yes. So I asked him what his favorite thing about being homeschooled was and he said, "Because I have you for my teacher". (pause for dramatic effect) You could've spilled grape juice on my carpet and I wouldn't have cared. I was so elated that he said that. It made it all worth it. I may not have been a perfect teacher. I may or may not have accidentally told Lucas that the pilgrims came over on the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria (my husband quickly corrected my mistake), but I was the perfect teacher for Lucas just because God made me his mommy. 

I had the amazing opportunity this year to see Lucas' knowledge grow.  I first hand witnessed him catch on to math concepts and how to correctly form the number eight and the letter 'g' (those are tough ones). I sat next to him while he drew a picture of his favorite part of our weekend to Florida and watched him attempt to write a sentence explaining what the picture was. I got to go on "field trips" to the zoo and the hardware store with him. And although I wish I would've done more playing, more coloring, more imagining with him, I feel like our year of kindergarten at home was worth all the bad days and certainly worth the good ones. I would do it over again with Lucas in a heartbeat. 

As for my future in homeschooling, well Lucas is going to first grade in an actual school building. I think our year home was just what was needed. He is ready and excited (most of the time) for the next year. I'll have to wait and see what I do with Audrey, but I've got time before I need to make that decision. 

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Thank you, Mary, for sharing this part of your life with us!  I love hearing these stories from you moms because it gives me a glimpse into your life and the different things you deal with.

If you would ever like to share your story, let me know.  We would love to hear it!

My Life As a Working Mom

This month I would like to introduce you to my friend, Jessica, as our guest blogger. Jessica is a busy mom of 3 adorable kids and still finds time to be a caring friend and a beautiful person - inside and out.

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Balance

by Jessica

I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, 3 beautiful kids, a new home, a great job and much more. However, I still find it hard to balance everything I have going on in my life.

My days start at 4AM. I wake up, hurry and take a quick shower and get ready while listening to the baby monitor praying I can just get ready in peace quick before someone gets up.

I then get my 3 year old up, drag him out of bed (literally) and try to get him dressed. This task usually ends in a full blown temper tantrum as he wants to wear his Spiderman shirt that he wore 4 times already this week. I am too tired so I give up and give in. I get him breakfast and occupied while I get the baby up.

When I wake her up, she is all smiles ear to ear and my heart melts all over again. I get her dressed, make her bottle, feed her, pack her diaper bag and get her ready to go in the car seat. She hates the car seat so is now screaming. My son is also screaming at this point as he wants to put his shoes on himself and doesn’t want to wear a jacket - again, another temper tantrum.

While both of them are crying, my husband comes downstairs to take the little ones to daycare. At this point, he has completely no idea how stressed I already am and it's only 6AM.

They leave, and then I get my oldest daughter up. She too doesn’t want to wear a jacket, wants to wear a skirt and sandals and it's still cool out. I again give up and give in.

Time for me to go to work! After a long day of work which often times includes travel, I come home to make dinner, do homework, do laundry, give baths, make lunches for the next day, put kids to bed and fall on the couch dead tired.

All to do it again the next day.

Something I've been working through lately is balance in my life. I feel as though I run at 150 miles per hour throughout my day and at the end of the day, I look back and think wow, I really missed some of those special moments with the kids or my husband because I was too worried about what was going to happen next or folding the laundry or trying to count calories (which is another story in itself).

The point is, I don’t want my life to pass me by. We need to learn to stop during our crazy busy days and just enjoy those special moments that God has placed there. Whether you are trying to balance kids, work, relationships, etc - I've learned that all that "stuff" is always going to be there and it's our reality. I'm working on balancing my work and home life and all the other things that come with it.

And one of the most important things I've learned lately, is that I cannot do it on my own! I often try, but God has really reminded me lately that I don't need to - I can rest in Him! That is so amazing and he wants to take the burdens from us, we just need to let go and let Him!

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Thank you for sharing, Jessica! I think those are important words for every mother. We don't need to go it alone. God wants to walk along beside us as we go.

Thank you to every mom who has shared over the past few months! I have really enjoyed getting to know each of you a little better. :)

As always, if you would like to share your story, let me know!

My Life As a Praying Mom

Before I introduce you to this month's guest blogger, let me write this disclaimer. I am forgetful these days. I forget everything, all the time. Ok, not everything but usually the most important things. I apologize if this ever affects you directly. I'm trying, but this thing called pregnancy brain is making me a very un-thoughtful person. I have to admit, I don't like it either. I try really hard to always consider the feelings of others and be a thoughtful person but I'm failing these days. I try to laugh about it but it annoys me and I hope I don't annoy you with my scatterbrainedness, too.

All that to say, I forgot to post Friday's My Life As a Mom post. It was totally my fault. Becky was awesome and got her post to me last Sunday - way ahead of time. I forgot to post it Friday and just realized it this afternoon. Oops!

I am happy to re-introduce my friend, Becky Boggio, to you as this month's guest blogger. She has written other posts for this blog in the past. She is a super mother and a really neat person. I am very glad I've gotten to know her better.

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I have worked full-time for the majority of my children’s lives. The major chunk of their days have been with other people who mold them and teach them. I agonize about how can I protect them from these people who may not be teaching them God’s way, disappointments, “friends”? Most days I want to lock them up so nothing will hurt them.


When my son, Rocco, was a toddler and we would be shopping, he would sit in the cart and say Hi to everyone that we passed. It was incredible to me that some people would actually not respond to his cute little Hellos. I wanted to grab them by the collar and say “My son just said Hello to you, please have the common courtesy to reply!” Back then I wanted everyone to talk to him.


In Fall, he is heading to middle school. My supervisor told me that at her kids’ middle school/high school orientations they are told how drug deals happen right at the lunch tables. The option to home school seems so great right now and I haven’t even been to an orientation yet! How do I protect him from these situations?


When they were in daycare, we ensured that the center was meeting the state regulations, and that the teachers are nice. That went okay until Amy, my daughter, was about two. We ended up pulling her from her daycare because she was bitten over a dozen times by a child/other children in her class. We could never find out who it was, what discipline occurred due to privacy laws but we had to take action, the victim, to ensure it didn’t happen again. It didn’t seem right. We could remove her from this harmful situation but now I can’t protect her as she makes friends at school. I hurt for her as she has one girl in her grade who she adores and calls her best friend but from Amy’s reports this “friend” has done nothing to reciprocate Amy’s friendship with her. Every action I am told of is something a friend would not do. How do I protect her from these situations?


How do I protect them? I pray. I pray a lot. And then I wish I could pray some more. I have to leave up to God. That what we are teaching them at home, and what they learn in church is that God will always be there for them and is always there to guide them. Praise God He is always there. Praise God He protects us in all situations. And moms, we can pray for each other, right? Pray for wisdom and protection of all our children. God made us sisters through Him. And as the saying goes, it takes a village. I am here for you too. Ask my assistance if you need to or send specific prayer requests and consider it done! This is why Jamie created this blog. We don’t have to go it alone.

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Thank you, Becky! Our kids need our prayers so desperately in this crazy world we live in. And I apologize for forgetting about your post on Friday. It'll never happen again ... Ok, it might, but I'll try real hard not to. ;)


If you are ever interested in writing your story for a My Life As a Mom post, please let me know.

My Life As a Mom of 4 by Emily Lex

I know that it's not the first Friday of the month but I came across this post written by the beloved Emily Lex of Jones Design Company and I had to share it with you.

I know we all drool over Emily's blog and envy her amazing God-given talent and eye for design. I know many of us think "Man, I wish I had HER life. She has it all together."

This post is raw and real and is a great example of how EVERY mom struggles. I don't care how put together someone's life looks; as a mom, we all have struggles.

Read her post, on being a mother of four, here.

I have to say, I like her even more after reading it.

And boy, can I relate to it. When my youngest was born, I felt like a 3 ring circus every time we were in public. I felt like people stared at us with 4 kids in tow. I wonder what it will be like when #5 arrives ...

Life with big families - I wouldn't trade it.

My Life As a Mom of 3 Boys

Today, I am pleased to introduce my friend, Juliann, as our guest blogger. She is a wonderful mother and friend. Her boys (all 4 of them) are SO blessed to have her!

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Not alone! That is my new motto in life, let me explain. I am a mother to three wonderful boys. I love them so much and life without them would seem so strange.

A little about me: I am a planner, an organizer, basically a choleric of great magnitude. Bottom line, I like being in control of the situation and I don't like change.

My children: I did not plan my children. God definitely knows what was best. His timing is perfect and I am reminded of that often. My children all have such different personalities and I know that is for a much bigger purpose.

Let me rewind a little. When Chris and I were dating and the topic of kids came up, he said he wanted 4 girls and I laughed that I WOULD NOT have more than 2 and if they were girls we would separate when they turned into teenagers. (Partly serious, but mainly joking).

So then, surprise! just before we celebrated our first year of marriage I found out I was pregnant. (Not part of my plan.) Jaydn was born and despite my horrific pregnancy, not planned c-section and 12+ pound baby, he was perfect. I used to say that if all my kids were like him (temperament), I would have a dozen kids. I did actually change my mind at this point about the number of kids that I wanted. It's funny how I went from wanting only 2 to 'Why not 3 or 4?'.

Keagn (number two) came later than I would have liked. Growing up in a family that is so spaced apart, I really over concerned myself with my kids being close together in age. I have to laugh at the fact that he is so like me, in so many ways.

Then came Ryley, this is where my life just didn't seem right. After he was born, I went into a period of life I refer to as my 'mommy crazies'. I had great regrets after he was born, like 'this child ruined my life.' I wondered why. God, why! Hindsight is so clear, I was a new mom of three kids, with a lot of changes that happened over that year. The biggest was that my work moved me back to a full time position, gave me brand new work to learn, all while I had a baby at home that would not sleep. Oh, and two other boys that craved attention. I was a walking zombie.

Unfortunately, it took me a while to get back to the realization that it was all in my head. I referred to that year as my year of just being crazy. I now am so thankful that I made it through that rough period of life. I also realize Ryley is such a blessing. He adds such a sense of gratitude that is great for our family.


The biggest struggle I have felt is that having kids has made me insecure. I never remember feeling that way, even as a teenager. Now it is as though I don't have control, because I am being scrutinized by people not just for me, but for the three little men that don't always do what I want them to do. That is hard for me.

With this new found insecurity is the struggle to let others in. That is where my new motto comes in to place. After an amazing time at the REFRESH 2012 event, I had a few great reminders.

First, I am not alone in my struggles. Even though my circumstances in life are not necessarily the same as yours, as moms we share a load in life that is much easier if shared with others.

Second, it is not my job to make sure my kids are perfect, but rather to be the best example to them of how to live, and PRAY for them. God has entrusted them to me, but they are not mine, they are His.

Lastly, don't be afraid to reach out to other moms. I was so afraid to admit I needed others and shut people out, when I needed them most. We need friendships with each other! What better gift to pass along to our children than the example of great friendships.

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Thank you, Juliann! These are great reminders for us all. We are not alone. Isn't it great that we have each other in this crazy adventure? :)

My Life As a Mom of a Teenager

I am tickled to introduce you to my friend, Deb, as this month's guest blogger. Deb is an outstanding teacher and mom. She is raising a teenager and is still alive to tell us about it. ;)

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FOOTPRINTS OF THE HEART

When I close my eyes, I can still feel the gentle weight of my newborn son, wrapped in a white fuzzy blanket and nestled in my protective arms. How I loved to hold him close and smell his baby soft skin, rocking back and forth, back and forth. I think I will forever remember the wonder I felt as I looked at his tiny hands and feet. I recall stooping over again and again to pick up the doll-sized socks that kept slipping off his little feet, proof of just how small he was. The fierce sense of love that I felt was overwhelming, my joy undeniable.

Fast forward fourteen and a half years, those little feet have ballooned into man-sized feet, complete with hairy toes and a stench that'll make even the brave gag! That sweet baby smell and those gurgling coos are replaced with Axe cologne spray and a deep voice that complains and argues over whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher or take the garbage out. Gone is the obedient little boy who would willingly go to bed after a bedtime story and a good night snuggle. In that little boy's place is a defense lawyer in the making, ready at every turn to give a logical argument as to why he should be able to stay up as long as he likes or why a C- in Spanish class is really no big deal.

Just as I was amazed by all the simple abundance in my life all those years ago, so too am I amazed by all the change! The old cliché of time slipping by couldn't be truer. As desperately as I cling to those precious memories, hoping time will stand still, my son determinedly strives forward eager to get his driver's license and first job.

I often shake my head and rub my eyes certain that I will be back in that rocking chair, only to discover that I gave in to that bone weary exhaustion. But no, try as I may, the dirty socks and well worn tennis shoes littering my doorway are real.

I know that in the not-so-distant future, I will even miss those socks and shoes that I trip over each day. I may complain about the sassy attitude, the sloppy job he did of cleaning up the once-tidy bathroom, or of how he drinks milk not by the glass but by the gallon, and yet I wouldn't trade any of it because this season of motherhood is just as priceless as any other- maybe not so sweet smelling, but precious nonetheless!

Savor each moment and try not to stand in the way as that little baby takes a step forth, making a lasting footprint for all to admire.

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Thank you for sharing, Deb! You even make it sound not so bad to have a teenager. :)


~ If you would like to share your story of motherhood with us, please let me know. We'd love to hear it! ~

My Life as a Mom Dealing With Postpartum Depression

Today, I am happy to introduce my friend, Sara, as our guest blogger. Sara is a great mom and a great friend. Her story today was a difficult one for her to write but I know that healing will come from it - for her and others struggling as well.

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As one of the older "mommies," you feel an unfounded responsibility to have some tidbit of "wisdom" to share with those around you. Then one day you wake up and realize that you are all in the same boat, traveling down the stream of "mommy" life together. There is no instruction manual, no "how to be a mommy in 3 days or less" type of book to quickly skim through while changing diapers. But as we look around us, there is so much to be shared, so much to be learned from our fellow friends, moms, grandmas, and even those who mentor us through this season of our lives.

On May 21st, Jeff and I welcomed our first baby into our family. Eliana Marie was born at 0704 am (after a night of no sleep) and weighed in at a whopping 9 lb 9 oz. We were so excited to be parents! What could be better? Well, two and a half years later we welcomed a second little one into our family. Hello Mr. Nolan Charles! I thought that Eliana was big at birth; I was so NOT prepared for the 10 lb baby boy that entered our family. What fun to have one of each. What two TOTALLY different children!

After the birth of both our children, I entered a season of life that I was not prepared for. This season of life threw both my husband and I for a bit of a surprise. You read all about postpartum depression and you think to yourself: I know all the symptoms, I will know what to watch for, and I will know how to handle this. What a shock! My depression after Eliana was mild and stemmed from one main factor: she was one poky eater! I could sit and feed her for an hour and a half and then, because she was losing weight, Jeff would give her formula. She would consume 4-6 oz of formula within minutes and then be hungry again an hour later. What frustration, what disappointment. I had such high hopes of feeding my baby and now she was a "starving" baby to my way of thinking. There were nights of little sleep and many tears. There were many happy memories and time spent enjoying her. I must admit that things became easier once she turned six months and was able to start on cereal and baby food. The pressure was off and I felt that life was back to "normal." I still had my ups and downs, but was on the mend. This season of my life was behind me. When we found out that we were pregnant with Nolan, I remember asking for prayer regarding my time postpartum. I know that people prayed for me, but I also know that I was not prepared. I can honestly say that I did not pray about it. Well, it seems that boys and postpartum depression are a bit different! I experienced awful mood swings. I felt overwhelmed with the simplest tasks. It was a season of life that was one I wish had not visited me. I am not saying that every day was bad, but I can say that there were more bad days than good days. I am sad to say that the only person who probably knew about it was my husband. I did not tell anyone about it, even though I am sure that some may have guessed. I was so disappointed in myself for not being strong enough to overcome this. But through it all my husband was extremely supportive and I love him more for it knowing what he had to endure during those months. But for as much as my husband supported me, I wish that I had talked it out with a friend, a fellow woman, and a fellow mom. I never realized how many moms struggle with this. Whether it is mild or severe, postpartum depression can be a season of life that leaves you feeling alone and disappointed. You are not alone in this! Find a fellow mom, friend, or sister who you trust and tell them how you are feeling. Have a talk with your doctor; medicine can help. I am convinced that God is with you during this time in your life. He is struggling with you, loving you, and holding you close to His heart during this time. I am convinced that I would not have made it through this season of life if others had not been praying for me. I am so thankful that this season of my life has slowly faded from view.

Seasons come and seasons go, but our God is faithful; He will never leave you or forsake you.

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Amen! Thank you for sharing that with us, Sara! I pray that lives are touched by your story.

Sara will be leading a craft workshop at REFRESH next month. Look for her there!

My Life as a Mom with PCOS

Today I am happy to introduce my friend, Aimee, as our guest blogger. I have known her all of her life (I'm just a tad bit older ;) and she is a faithful friend. She signed up right away to share her story with us and I'm so glad she did. Take it away, Aimee ...

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To begin, you should know that I have been struggling with how to write this and where to start.  So, with that said I suppose I will start at the beginning, of how I became a mom.

My husband and I struggled for about four years trying to get pregnant.  At first, it wasn’t a big deal but as time passed, I couldn’t understand why.  I kept thinking “is there something wrong with me?”  I would frequently have irregular periods which sometimes would last for up to two weeks.  I never really knew if I was ovulating and as time went on I was getting really frustrated.  After three years of trying to have a baby I finally found out that I have a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS.)  In talking with my doctor, I had come to find out that some of the symptoms of PCOS are irregular periods, weight gain and, sadly, infertility.

Once we discovered that I had PCOS I couldn’t help thinking to myself that if maybe I had found out sooner, we could possibly have had a baby by now.  At the time, it was really hard for me to see all of my friends having kids, and it hit me especially hard when my sister-in-law gave birth to my niece.  I hate to admit, but I was jealous because I felt everyone was having a baby but me.  I just knew that someday we would have a child and it would all be in God’s timing.  I really had to trust Him because He knew when we were supposed to have a child.

Getting back to infertility; upon the discovery of my PCOS, my OB referred me to a fertility specialist.  My husband and I met with him and he shared with me me some things I needed to do that would help us have a child.  For starters, he told me that I needed to walk two miles a day to help me lose some of the weight I had gained from the PCOS.  Additionally, I was put on a drug called Metformine which is actually a drug used for diabetes, but is also known to help with infertility caused by PCOS.  I began to do all the things my fertility doctor had told me to do, walking two miles a day, working on losing weight, and taking the medication.  After eight months, however, it seemed like the new regimen was not helping.   As time went on and I kept not getting pregnant, it was the opinion of my fertility specialist that our next steps would likely need to be some more drastic treatment, like IVF.   At this point, after some frustration, my husband and I decided I should take some time off from taking the medicine.  We wanted to spend some time praying for God’s plan.  About a month and a half later, I got pregnant!

Finally getting pregnant was a miracle from God.  He is the only one who knows when the time is right. Somehow, Russell knew I was pregnant before I even knew for sure.  I was so excited when I found out (shocker, I know.)  It was a Friday and I had just gotten home from work and decided to take a pregnancy test.  My father-in-law was at our house replacing the sink in our bathroom, so I had to take a test after he left to get some parts at the store.  As soon as I saw the positive result of the test, I texted Russell.  He was in a meeting giving a presentation, read the text and told his boss “sorry but I’ve gotta go!”  He showed his boss the text, gave him a high five and left.  When Russell got home, we went to get my blood drawn and we received the positive news the following morning.  As soon as we knew it was a positive blood draw we went straight to tell our parents.  It was really hard not to tell our friends right away, but I wanted to wait until we saw the Dr.

After a few weeks, we finally got to go to the doctor and see our little baby’s heartbeat.  What a miracle our baby was, and I don’t know what my life would be like today if he was not here.  A few months later, we found out this child growing inside me was a boy, and we were both overjoyed. 

The only part of the story that is missing is how we came upon the name Cullen Matthew.  Cullen means “handsome” and Matthew means “gift from God.”  He truly is our handsome little gift from God!  Cullen means more to me than anything in the world and I thank God every single day for the life he has entrusted me with.

I hope this will give hope to those who have may have similar trouble with infertility.  Always remember, if you put your faith and trust in God ANYTHING can happen.  I am glad that I can share my story with you!

Love,

Aimee

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Thank you for sharing your story with us, Aimee! We are so glad God blessed you with little Cullen Matthew!

My Life as an "Out of Control" Mom

Today we have a guest blogger who needs no introduction ... You already all know and love her. My sister, Kelly, is going to share her story today. (cheers and applause)

Check out her blog at t w i r l ministries.

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My Life as an “Out of Control” Mom
by: Kelly Seelow

{ insert Steve Tyrell’s “Give Me the Simple Life” here as background music }

It was going to be perfect. I could see it. An adorable baby bump followed by years of snuggling, frolicking, and fun.

{ okay now insert a loud screeching sound of reality hitting }

After gaining 70 uncomfortable and forever figure changing pounds, I gave birth to a 10 lb baby boy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my boy but what was up him sleeping only an hour or two at a crack? Where was the 10 hours of solid sleep I was used to and needed now more than ever??

Okay, now fast forward 10 months. I was lovin’ my baby who was sleeping through the night, taking 2 naps a day, wasn’t walking or talking, life was good. I felt in control and content.

Now enter a positive pregnancy test…a very unexpected positive pregnancy test.

9 months and a very painful labor experience later, a baby girl.

So now I have a newborn and a 1 ½ year old. This was not in my plans. I loved my kids but my life was crazy and hard and most importantly to me, not going the way I wanted it to.

Today I have a 2 & 3 ½ year old. They are beautiful, healthy, active, smart, crazy, funny, strong willed, independent, trouble making, back talking little stinkers who I couldn’t love with anymore of me.

We have good days, we have bad days, we have really bad days. My biggest problem is that they will not listen to and obey me. I just don’t get it. It’s an easy concept, just-do-what-i-say. Nope.

I guess you could say that I just plain can’t control them. This doesn’t sit well with the mother who makes lists, has a detailed calendar, is an organizer, a planner of everything. I had it all planned out. MY kids were going to behave, have manners, be sweet, listen to everything I said, clean up after themselves, and if they didn’t, I would spank and time-out them until they did. After all, I was the PERFECT mother…until I actually had kids.

God has taught me more about myself and more about His character through allowing me to have children then any other time in my life thus far. I have learned that I am not in control and any control I thought I had was an illusion. I have learned that not only will I never be a perfect mother and have perfect kids, but that it is OKAY to be crazy, messy, and real.

I have learned that you just can’t control your children no matter how much you may want to. Now I am not saying that you can’t discipline them, steer them, teach them and instill morals in them. That is our job as parents. What I am saying is that you ultimately can’t make them who you want them to be. All you can do is the best you can and cover them in prayer.

This “Out of Control” mom is thankful to serve a God who holds me in His hand. It’s easy to give up control to the one who is the creator and controller of the universe and loves me more than I can imagine. My life has not turned out as I had planned…it’s better.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Philippians 3:20-21 “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”

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Thank you, Kelly, for sharing today! I think we all can relate a little bit to feeling out of control as a mom and if you can't yet - you will! (Sorry to ruin it for you ;) It's important to know, though, that you aren't the only one feeling that way. That's why I love this new feature! We all have a unique story but there may be parts of it that others can relate to. A community. That was the vision I had for this blog from the beginning. A community of moms who could lift each other up, be vulnerable, be real, be there for each other.

I love hearing your stories written with your own words! If you are interested in sharing your story with us, please let me know. I have guests lined up for the next couple of months, so you have time to think and pray about what you would share.

Have a beautiful weekend!!

My Life as a Mom on Crutches

I am pleased and honored to introduce our first guest blogger this month. Rachel is a fellow blogger and a friend. She is an amazing person and mom. You can read more of her story on her blog, my leg is not broken ...

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My life as a mom on crutches…
I have a great husband, a spunky toddler son and a job I love. All the things you hope for as a little girl. They were things I was not sure I would get since I am different.
I was born with a disability and I use crutches to walk.  I can’t do all the things that everyone does and I spent a lot of time as a kid having surgeries and therapy.
There are days when I want to be different, but who doesn’t?  I have my pity party moments when I wish I could trade in my body now and not have to wait until heaven. However, once I became a mom I found myself longing for a strong body more often.
It started the day my son was born. My husband was standing in our hospital room rocking him. Later I watched a nurse effortlessly pick him up and carry him across the room. When we left the hospital my husband secured our precious baby in the carseat, grabbed the handle and walked toward the car.
These things are awesome. I’d give anything to do them.
Coming home from the hospital, I was tired. I had little rest due to never-ending company during our stay at the hospital. Having a huge family is a blessing but some sleep would have been cool. I was sore, bleeding, emotional, lactating, swollen and scared. I had my whole life to figure out how to do things but I had no time to figure out stuff with my son. He was here and screaming in his swing.
My husband was my rock for the first few weeks. He changed a lot of diapers and let me slowly find my way. I know there were times when he was frustrated and felt alone in this baby adventure. I felt like I was failing as a mom and a wife and it tore me up.  
Things changed as I had more time alone with my son. No one was around to rescue me and I had to figure it out.  I avoided onesies with 200 snaps. I stuck him in the stroller when I wanted to go to another room.  I cried with him when I was struggling with his diapers and he was impatient. I begged God for help when times got tough and praised him often for my perfect baby.
As my son turns 2, conflicting emotions flood my mind. I am sad that he has become big so fast. I am also excited to get my life back. Right now I can’t go places with him alone. I need help carrying him. When I see a mom carrying a baby on her hip or pushing a shopping cart with her child riding along, I fight off pangs of jealousy. I am scared to play outside with him alone since he now runs fast and has no concept that the street is dangerous.
I knew the early years would be hard. I also knew it would be worth it. These struggles have changed my heart. They taught me to find joy in asking for help. Most importantly it has been a daily reminder that God never gives us more than we can handle. The moment it feels like too much, I cry out to him and it always works out.
To follow my journey visit: www.mylegisnotbroken.com

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Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your story with us!
 

My Life as a Mom

I'm starting a new series on The Mommy Years called "My Life as a Mom" that will post on the first Friday of every month.

Every month I will have a different mom guest post their "story". This is their chance to tell their story and create awareness and empathy among moms.

As moms, we judge and are judged. I'm sure we've all done it at least once. We judge other moms' choices, behavior of their kids, and even how their kids look. What we don't always realize is what that mom's life is really like. Every mom has a different story. Each of us has unique challenges we face and joys we experience.

By telling your story, you can help other moms broaden their views and create community when another mom recognizes that some of YOUR story is also part of THEIR story.

I'm excited and I think this will be a fun thing. You do not have to share anything that you do not feel comfortable sharing. The posts do not need to be fancy or extremely well written. Just give us a glimpse into what your life as a mom is really like.

If you would like to tell your story, please email me and I will set it up. I already have 2 moms that are willing to share their stories, I hope you will be, too.  If you know of anyone else with a story they would be willing to share, let me know.

Some ideas of stories could be
My Life as a Mom:
of boys;
of girls;
working full-time;
working part-time;
at home full-time;
after infertility;
dealing with depression;
of a child with special needs;

The list could truly go on and on. God has given each one of us an unique story and life. Let's celebrate that!