The Saving of Many Lives

I've had this on my heart this week and wanted to share it with you.

Do you have struggles in your life? Duh, who doesn't, right? My struggles may look nothing like your struggles but we all have SOMETHING.

I really believe God puts these things in our lives not only to help us grow but to help others as well. Who can relate to someone facing bankruptcy other than someone who has been there? Who can counsel a wife in a miserable, failing marriage better than someone who has gone through it? Who can cry with a woman in the midst of infertility other than someone who has felt that pain?

There are SO many things that we all struggle with daily. For the most part, they are different but you are not the only one to ever go through that struggle. Aren't there times when you think, "Gosh, I wish I had a mentor or someone who truly understood what I am struggling with?" For those of you who are blessed with such a person in your life, be thankful because they are few and hard to find.

It's not that there aren't women out there. There just aren't enough women out there willing (or maybe it's able) to share that part of their life.

I think for a while, we (as a society) went through a period where you just didn't talk about the hard things in life. You needed to keep up your perfect appearance and not "let anyone see you sweat." I still think we are a society that is struggling with that but I also see a break in this perfect facade. I think there are women willing to step out and talk about the hard things.

I think we are finally starting to come around and see that perfection is over-rated and SO not real. I think we are seeing the benefit to exposing ourselves and letting healing come, not only for ourselves but for others.

I know in my own life, I have really started to open up and share some of my struggles. It has been healing and hopefully in some small way, helpful to others. If I can let some other mom see that they are not alone in what they are dealing with and that there is someone else out there that knows, REALLY KNOWS how it feels, it is worth laying down my pride and sharing myself.

I would encourage you to think of your struggles as opportunities to minister to others. Obviously, you may be in the midst of it right now and thinking "Ha, I need to be ministered to right now; I can't even think about helping someone else." I get that. There will come a time though when the pain has lessened, maybe you have been victorious in overcoming this particular struggle, or you come to peace with your situation.

When that day comes, think about reaching out and helping someone just like you. You could make such a difference in the life of another.

I think of Joseph and his story. Man, he went through struggles. They weren't fun or enjoyable but God used those situations to put him in a position to help countless people.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Genesis 50:20 NIV

Let's try to think of our struggles the same way. Give them over to God and pray that He would use them for His good to help others. Doesn't it all seem worth it then? It still stinks, but when you keep it at the back of your head that maybe, just maybe you are dealing with this so that you can help another woman someday, it doesn't seem so wasted, does it?

God will bring you through it. He has a plan for your future.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Let's be the generation that breaks the perfection cycle and starts the healing cycle! God doesn't want us perfect, He wants to see us healed.

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Please know that you can come to me in confidence anytime you are facing a struggle and need prayer or a listening ear. You don't ever have to feel alone. I wish someone would have said that to me years ago ...

You are special. You are cared about. You are loved.

Forgiven and Free

I've mentioned on here that I've had an amazing year this past 12 months and that I hoped to one day share my testimony about it. I REALLY wanted to share this unbelievable experience I had but the problem was that I really couldn't put it into words. I still don't think I fully understand the remarkable change I've experienced but I did have a breakthrough over the weekend and feel like I can start to share it with you.

On Sunday, Pastor Geoff spoke on Forgiving Yourself. I've heard that phrase before. It's not a hard phrase to understand but it's a difficult concept to grasp, I think. After hearing his sermon, I realized “Hey, that was part of my year of healing! I think I finally have started to forgive myself – like really forgive myself.”

We are taught to forgive others. "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossians 3:13 As hard as that is, I think it's much easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves. At least for me it is. I have high expectations. I've come to realize that others are not going to live up to my high expectations but when it comes to me (and my family – gulp), I still expect “perfection.”

When I was young, it wasn't too hard to live an easy, close-to-perfect life. As I've gotten older and gone through more life experiences, I've struggled. Sins I've committed, mistakes I've made, simply not living up to my perfect expectations. All of these things started to add up, weigh on me. I asked forgiveness of God, of others, but never forgave myself. God forgave and forgot. I just wasn't able to forgive myself and in turn, thought others felt as horribly about me as I felt about myself. Maybe some of them did. But for the most part, I'm sure it wasn't what I did that drove people away but how I dealt with it or couldn't deal with it.

I was bogged down with the weight of every bad decision I ever made on my shoulders. Now I'm not talking about killing people or robbing banks or other crazy bad things. It was all of the little things that added up and I just couldn't let go of. I always thought, “I'm better than that. I know better.” Mistakes weren't an option.

Pretty soon I found myself not being the wife I should have been, the mother, the daughter, the sister, the friend, etc. I had ended up letting down people all around me in mostly small, insignificant ways. If you were to ask those others, they would probably not even remember or had not noticed to begin with but I knew and I wasn't going to let myself forget it.

I started to pull in. The less I put myself out there, the less I had to admit I was less than perfect. I started to hide things so people couldn't see the mess that was my life. I became miserable.

Starting last year, God started an amazing work in my life. He overwhelmed me with His love. Over and over He poured out His love on me. He showed me that there was nothing I could do to earn His love and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He just LOVED me. I've always struggled with feeling like I need to earn the love of others (and probably myself). As He made me realize that I was worthy of His love no matter what, I realized that I was worthy of loving myself no matter what.

It opened me up for so much. I was able to develop new friendships and renew old ones as well. I was able to respond to the voice of God and follow His leading. I was able to feel freedom – freedom in Christ. God broke the chains of “unworthiness” in my life and replaced it with freedom. Freedom to be who God wants me to be in all of my imperfection. It feels so good!

I still have my days and I still don't always enjoy my less than perfect life but I'm much more ok with it. I am able to remind myself that God loves me despite all of my faults. He is able to use me despite my imperfections, and maybe even because of them.

Please do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. You will never be perfect. I know we live in a society where perfection is the goal. We should all have perfect homes, perfect children, perfect marriages, perfect looks. It's unrealistic. We can't be fully perfect. Jesus is perfect and He is all the perfection we need!

Forgive yourself and live in Freedom! It's a great place to be! :)

Just Because He's Good

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.
 1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his[a];
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Joel and Lauren decided to move from Washington State back home to Michigan. Wanting to make one last special memory, they bought coffee from their favorite cafe and then stopped at their favorite bookstore. There they picked up two bumper stickers with a favorite motto of the town they were saying goodbye to: “It’s an Edmonds kind of day.”
After 2 weeks and a 3,000-mile drive, they entered Michigan. Hungry and wanting to celebrate their arrival, they stopped and asked about where to find a restaurant. Although they had to backtrack a few miles, they found a quaint little cafe. Emma, their waitress, excited to learn they were from her home state of Washington, asked, “What city?” “Edmonds,” they replied. “That’s where I’m from!” she said. Wanting to share the joy, Joel got their extra bumper sticker from the car and handed it to her. Amazingly, the sticker was from her mother’s store! It had gone from her mom’s hands to theirs, across 3,000 miles, to her hands.
Mere coincidence? Or were these experiences good gifts orchestrated by a good God who loves to encourage His children? Proverbs tells us, “A man’s steps are directed by the Lord” (20:24 NIV). In response, let’s “bless His name. For the Lord is good” (Ps. 100:4-5).

Bestowed with benefits daily,
Sent from the Father above;
Mercies and blessings abounding,
Gifts of His marvelous love. —Anon.

Every good gift comes from the Father.

-Our Daily Bread odb.org

Trust

Speak, Lord, We Are Listening

I have been consistently starting my day with a devotional, prayer, and quiet time like I talked about last week. It amazes me how, so much of the time, each devotional feels like it was written just for me. Do you experience this, too? I'm sure you do.

Isn't it SO awesome how God is able to speak to us? Even when we are dealing with things that no one else knows about, God knows. He cares about us and wants to help us through it.

God has used so many different things to speak to me throughout my life. I love how He is able to communicate with us even though we aren't able to audibly hear His voice. He uses the Bible, the tuggings and nudgings in our heart, and even that still, small voice we feel/hear within ourselves.

I know that I've heard from many people who say that they've never heard from God.

Be still.

Wait.

Listen.

Most likely, you will not hear an audible voice but pay attention to the things I listed above. I've even had what felt like bells or alarms ringing in my head as a "wake up and pay attention" kind of message.

I don't think God only speaks to certain "special" people. He speaks to us all. We just need to recognize that it is God speaking and trying to get our attention.

We also need to slow down and listen.

Sometimes, I am guilty of being busy and not hearing one of my kids when they are talking to me. I'm not ignoring them, I just truly don't hear them because I am thinking about other things and trying to rush around and accomplish my plans. They are talking but I just don't hear them.

It's the same thing with hearing God speak to us. He talks but we just don't hear Him because we are thinking about other things and trying to rush around and accomplish our plans.

I urge you to take time to listen. I know that it is hard in the world we live in today. There is not a lot of "quiet" time to be had but if nothing else, quiet your soul and think on the Lord. We don't need to be in actual quiet to hear Him.

Just be listening ...

God has SO much to tell us. He wants to help us through this crazy life. He WILL help us if we let Him.

The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:10

Ray of Hope

The year 2009 was a rough one for me. It started out with me finding out I was unexpectedly pregnant (with my little guy who I wouldn't trade for anything). 

Morning sickness started at about 6 weeks and continued until about 20 weeks. I also suffered through 3 bouts of strep throat one right after the other in my first trimester. Strep throat that made me throw up - in the middle of Disney World. I ended up on a cot in the "health room" while the rest of my family enjoyed our last day at Disney. That night I flew home with a Dramamine and a prayer. 

By June of that year, I was in bad shape and ended up getting my third gestational diabetes diagnosis. I was probably at the lowest point of my life.  

I was sick. I was depressed. I was overwhelmed. I was stressed out - beyond stressed out. (This was in the middle of my funk.)  

The first full week of summer vacation, I had a doctor appointment. I brought all three kids with me - stressful - and on the way home we were in a car accident. A woman ran into the side of my van and scraped it up. Thankfully, the accident was minor and no one was hurt. 

But, really?? It was just one more thing for me to deal with.

The insurance company came and gave us a check for $1900 to take care of the damage.

Being that I couldn't deal with anything and the fact that I am a hopeless procrastinator, we didn't get the van fixed right away. 

Six weeks later, we take the van in to have something repaired unrelated to the accident. 

When we go to pick up our van, I saw it parked and waiting for us. But the van I saw had no big scuff down the side, no dents, or any other visible damage. 

I ask my husband, "Is that our van?"

He, of course, says "Yes."

I said, "Look, there is nothing wrong with it. It looks like we were never in an accident."

We went inside to pay and asked the man at the desk if they had fixed the side of our van. He said "No."

We said "But we were in an accident and now there is no scuff."

He actually said, "Maybe someone brushed against the van and rubbed the scuff off."

To this we laugh and say, "No, it was a major scratch with dents."

He never admitted to fixing up our van.

We still don't know what exactly happened but I do know that God provided for us in a major way. 

That summer, due to the gestational diabetes, I needed to go to the hospital 2-3 times a week. I ended up reducing my hours due to the appointments and my inability to cope with trying to stabilize my blood sugar and deal with insulin injections. 

Also, our son was born at the end of August and I needed to take some time off to recuperate. 

We were going to be losing a lot of income but God took care of it. 

We had the money from the accident AND a fixed up van. 

I still shake my head in unbelief when I think of what happened that summer. In the midst of the darkest storm, God broke through the clouds giving me a ray of hope. 

Did He rescue me from the storm? No.
Did He let me know that He was still there, He still cared and was going to take care of me? Yes, yes He did.


 Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future."

This was my verse for that year (every year God gives me a theme verse at some point). My neighbor even unknowingly gave me a plaque with that verse on it that June for my birthday.

   Our God is awesome.

God is Like the Sun

This is not a new concept but it has really come alive to me recently. It's like I'm finally understanding something I've known all of my life. My brain doesn't always see the obvious right away and then when I do, it's like a huge revelation to me. So bear with me ...

Recently during one of the storms we've had, the sky was black. There were dark, angry clouds and the sun was not visible. 

Then there was a break in the clouds and a ray of sunlight came bursting through. That was when I had my aha moment. I realized that the sun was still there doing what it does even when we can't see it. (duh) Instantly the analogy of God and the sun hit me. That is when it all became clear to me. 

God is like the sun. 

He is always there. 

He is always shining brightly providing LIGHT and WARMTH and LIFE. 

When we turn away from Him, we are in darkness. He is our LIGHT. 

We can experience different seasons in our life.

 When we are closer, we experience more LIGHT, more GROWTH, more LIFE. 


When we are further away, there is less light, no growth, things are in a frozen state.  



Troubles can drift into our life like clouds. The enemy can produce thick, black, ugly storms in our lives that let us lose sight of God and make us think He is not there. 

But never fear, behind those clouds, HE IS THERE! 





Have you ever experienced a bad storm that darkens your world and then suddenly there is a break in the clouds  and you can see light shining through? 

I've gone through some pretty bad storms over the years. Yet there were times when the clouds broke slightly and I felt God's LIGHT- God's LOVE and PROVIDENCE - shining through. 

Giving me HOPE, letting me know that He is STILL THERE. 

Even when I can't see Him, even when I choose NOT to see Him. He is ALWAYS THERE. 

He wants to bring LIGHT to my world. 

He wants to give me LIFE. Living things cannot grow and live without the sun and we cannot as Christians grow and have life without God. 

I love that thought. I know that often I find myself thinking "God, where are you?" And yet all along, HE IS THERE. 

I need to keep my eyes on Him and even through the storms, I will see Him breaking through the clouds, telling me "I'm still here. I will NEVER leave you or forsake you. There is not a storm out there that can defeat me. The storms come and go but I am CONSTANT. I am HERE for you. I want to give you NEW LIFE."

Come back tomorrow to hear about a time God broke through the clouds of a storm I went through. We serve an amazing God!