Choices

*Choices are a big deal to toddlers and are an effective way to encourage good behavior. Getting dressed struggles? "You can wear either this shirt or this one." Cleanup contention? "You can pick up this mess while singing either the Barney song or the Bob the Builder one." Rushing to leave? "I can put your shoes on for you and carry you out to the car, or you can put them on all by yourself and meet me in the car seat."
*Choices can be as simple as letting your child pick between doing the right thing or receiving the consequence. "You can give me the toy or I can take it from you." "It's your choice - do you want to stop whining and play nicely with your sister, or would you rather take a nap?"
*Don't you just love to make your children laugh? Especially when the alternative is a preschool power struggle. "I don't want to wear that shirt!" she insists. "Fine, then I'll wear it," you concede while putting her size three shirt on your head and walking around bumping into things. "Here, now you try it. Hey, it fits you perfectly!" Or you can hop around on one foot that is wearing your son's little jeans that he refuses to wear. As often as possible, look for the humor in raising toddlers!
*In some ways, toddlers can be easier to discipline than older kids. Try giving them this simple choice. Hold up two fingers and explain, "If you choose this finger and obey Mommy, you will receive the blessing in heaven. But if you pick this finger and disobey, you will be choosing the consequences here on earth." Most of the time you don't even have to have a punishment in mind; they love to choose the obedient finger. As they run off to obey, call after them with this encouragement: "I see God smiling at you from heaven while He's preparing your reward!"
*Use your child's desire for independence to your advantage. "I can do it by myself!" seems to be the battle cry of toddlers everywhere. That's why, if you offer them the choice of putting toys away all by themselves or allowing you to help, they will usually go for the heady feeling of self-sufficiency. If they don't, however, "help" them by placing your hand over theirs while they pick up all their toys. That isn't quite as much fun as watching you clean up for them, and it makes the choice of allowing you to help a little less appealing next time.